Dear diary...and whoever else that reads this..I guess. This post is for my own well being as all of them are but particularly this one because I haven't been as "high" as I should be. I've been dissatisfied with not getting enough done and wish to explode. But AREN'T WE ALL? Seems like everyone is depressed how shitty is that? I'm not depressed by any means. I'm just fed up with bullshit, barriers, roadblocks, bumps, in the road and most excrupelistfully* ((A word I invented.. Shakespeare did it so yeah theres no law that says I can't and this is my goddamn website...also I think we need a new word)) EXCUSES! Definitely the most excrupelistfully thing is excuses. I hate not being able to get things done when I want to. I dream of the day where I control my own schedule. I look forward to having a team of artist assist me in bigger projects (I will screen print a billboard damnit!). I hope to be able to create my own path and not be restricted by anything...don't we all.
Why is it a goddamn sin to say and proclaim the things that you really hope to happen?But not only hope for them, but to actively pursue them. Why is it so hard to hear someone who doesn't have anything say "one day I will be a millionaire" thats a bold statement but there are over 20 million Millionaires in the United States. Why can't I be one them? I will. even if it's just for a day; split second of a day. I will be a millionaire. I could lose it all after a second, but I will be able to say that I did it. And if you can do it once, you can do it again.
I don't think it's a pipe dream. I notice how much more I aspire to be than other people and I see how dissatisfied people are with their circumstances. Or! people are totally satisfied and content in the state they are in and that is fine.. I guess. I choose to do something about my dissatisfied circumstance, I choose to continuously grow from the state I am in. I Choose to pursue something most aren't willing enough to pursue. Their Dream. how fucking corny is that?! omg its like the goddamn TLC channel. a fucking hallmark movie script amirite?? Yeah it's fucking corny and even if shit hits the fan and nothing happens at least I'm having a lot more fun trying to take control of my own life than most people, I can definitely see that. I'm looking at homies working at tropical smoothie after their 4 year college degree.
Success is subjective and up to whatever the person wants to call it so i'm not saying which lifestyle is better or worse it's just I have a different idea of my own success y'know? It's not about "If I" It's "when I". "If I achieve success" sounds hopeless. "When I achieve success" sounds definite. And I am definite. I don't think I'll ever stop printing shirts but I hope to evolve into an established artist. I think It's the only thing I could do. To quote Slim Shady *clears throat* "If you got it, you got it.. If you don't, you don't." I can't draw well, I don't know how to photoshop, or how to edit a video. But! I do know that if I want to do something. I will.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
I apologize for the incredible tacky motivatonal bullcrap that all was, and as pretentious as it all sounded but I feel like I needed to express that so I did. for myself :)
-image of fear
guys my bf is really hot
so dope to read these now to see how far youve came. so sick too see how youre doing, keep killing it dude :)
This is extremely honest and transparent. I love that and whole heartily relate to this, you don't really see this type dialogue what so ever in this little niche of clothing/skating scene whatever you call it. From a fan perspective I will always want to know the purpose and ethos of an artists endeavor whether it's an album, collection, or skate video. To see how serious this is to you is sick and motivational. Not only makes me want you to succeed even more but also for myself and my endeavors! Thank you.