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Jabronie Testimonie

Human kind is constantly reinventing itself and sometimes in the progress we actually digress. And until 1341 b.c. we were underwear-less. Nude, exposed, open, vulnerable. Sitting ducks really. Now we are much more modern and have continued to advance everything we can. Although we have been stuck on the boxer brief since the 1930's. I Believe this is a perfect example of peak human evolution. We created an apparatus that started as two strings and a flap over the family jewels to an under armor elastic banded nylon ball hammock. and it will be nothing more than that. There is nothing we can make it be more than it already is. Isn't that insane to witness? Sure you can try a new material or a different stitch but it's still the exact fucking same.


That is why I'm hear to clarify and testify and amplify my thoughts on the matter to those who are interested in undergarments such as myself. If I were a guessing man i'd say 70% of people like me (a typical 23 yr old skater who slouches) probably have flannel patterned boxers that I/we utilize to sag our dope ass fucking pants and belts. Amirite? Nothing is wrong with flannel patterned underwear. It's all I own. But literally every pair I have is THE SAME PATTERNS!! It just gets exhausting to look at or like Idk... When you like something you don't wanna switch you just want the same thing but different. Just to make it somewhat new again and I think Jabronie's do a good job at doing that. It's just another option.


I googled the word Jabronie and learned that it was unearthed by the WWE and dwayne ''the rock" johnson. It means "a stupid, foolish, or contemptible person; loser" which at first sounds bad right. I know. ok. I know. BUT! I would like to alter the meaning for Jabronie. So I sat and thunk real hard about what to label a boxer and went over synonyms of the word as well as slang terms. It dawned on me that girls had the term "chonies" and I always thought that's a cool word to describe something like that. Which made me think like "oh if girls of chonies then bros should have bronies" which I already knew to be the cult-like fantasy of people dressing up like furry animals. So there I was beaten, bruised, and battered left to wonder the streets, cold and damp in search of a new word to fit the bill for my underwear endevour. ( just trolling you I just had to spice things up a bit, it seemed liked you were dozing off haha!) But my wondering came to an end when an episode of It's always sunny in philadelphia came on. Mack was using the word jabronie and I thought it perfectly described what flannel patterened boxers are.


In conclusion and as I said before the boxer cannot, and will not improve any further in our lifetime. My boxer isn't new it isn't different. it isn't original at all... it's just better.


jabronies.

like the rest...just better


-image of fear.




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